Me and my partner have been together for just over half a year. I came into the relationship pretty messed up from being abused in my past relationship over the years. He had treated me amazing but had a few flaws.
The first night he stayed, he didn’t tell me about his “condition” and wet the bed. He freaked and cried and told me it was a condition and a lot of things that didn’t make sense. He kept going back and forth about how nothing worked, he’s in his twenties. He told me he had been facing it since he was 8, so for months I thought he was abused.
He has pissed the bed almost every single night since and if it was just his condition he would have ways to resolve it. Unfortunately he just sleeps in it. He will wake up about an hour after and just put a towel under him, and if we have no towels, he will use the same towel he peed on to dry himself off with; that’s how my dad found out because he left it in the bathroom…
We have a massive bed, the master bedroom, etc. I sleep away from him because I get hot at night and because he’s quite bigger than me, I can’t crawl over him to get off the bed in the morning so I scoot down to the bottom and get on with my morning routine. A lot of the time, I don’t notice how much he’s pissed until he leaves it for me to clean.
It got to a point where he left it so much for me to clean that I stopped and left him to do it himself which he didn’t do, didn’t go to the doctors and didn’t get diapers.
Once my friend found out, he brought me a shit ton of cleaning products. I took the sheet off and the mattress had a massive yellow circle, was mustard yellow and absolutely reeked. That’s when the smell of our room started bad. My nose hurts smelling it and it doesn’t even smell like piss. It smells like mouldy cheese and vinegar up close and just a public bathroom when you walk in.
Im sick of it. After my dad found out, he absolutely lost it. Forced him to buy diapers otherwise he’d kick him out and now has to replace a $4000 mattress. My dad said he’s also pissed all over the floor and walls in the bathroom in the middle of the night and left it.
It’s gotten to a point where I don’t want to be around him, or in the room. He nags at me consistently, he’s always jealous, says he has ‘anxious attachment’ issues, doesn’t let me have the future I want to have and wants to isolate me from the people I love because they don’t like him for his lies and laziness. And when I say laziness, I mean he wasn’t abused as a child, he games 24/7, and he was mummied since birth. He doesn’t clean up after himself, he makes a mess in my house, and I have to clean our room every single day. He has absurdly poor hygiene and hurt me so bad in the first 3 months of our relationship but I tried to push through it.
He cries to me constantly, wants to “talk” all the time, wakes me up at random hours of the night crying, and I used to wake up to him trying to go on my phone. When I got a new phone, I changed my password because it got so invasive and I couldn’t sleep, I still barely do. And when he feels like he’s losing me he sends me paragraph after paragraph and I just feel… nothing.
What do I even say to him? I mean I care about him, I want the best for him and I can’t say I don’t or didnt love him but what I’ve said is only the surface of our problems.
